Maybe I shouldn’t have internet

The days of sitting around in my boxers till three in the afternoon flip-flopping between the Drudge Report and NYTimes.com are over.  Thanks to the incompetence of TimeWarner cable, I am forced out into the open world of coffee shops and street-side guerilla web surfing; looking at beautiful girls study for the GRE and checking the old account balance on BOA’s website — my progress through the world measured in accumulated negative signs, the absence of wealth.  On the other hand, thanks to the notoriously bad service provided by all cable companies (my aunt Joanne once spent an entire day on the phone with them), I am forced out into the open world of coffee shops and street-side guerilla web surfing; looking at a beautiful girl studying for the GRE and reading up on how I can tell her how I feel (see below image). Qu’est-ce qui passe?