friend of a friend: manbiru t.

Friend of a Friend spotlights people of interest to the greater AMR community: poets, rockers, artists, aesthetes, and assorted bon vivants. The series is called Friend of a Friend because all the interviewees are my friends, and hopefully you’ll be their friend too once I introduce them to you. – Nick Courage

DISCUSSED IN THIS INTERVIEW: being an artist in a censor-happy society; gender binaries; fucking up zombies; why david mamet should just be comfortable with being “david mamet”; punk rock internationale; orwellian politics (& ladies) on the island that Raffles built; the pros and cons of globalization; dehumanization vs. humanization; post-apocalyptic suzuki methods; manbiru’s army experiences, aka “the shit”; why hollywood hates NYC; &c.

Nick Courage: So basically we were both punk rock chuckleheads in Jakarta – which was pretty conducive to being a punk rock chucklehead, actually- but I think everyone could tell that you were always sort of the empathetic one in the group, one foot in the sensible no matter how crazy things got. After high school you joined the S’pore army, started law school, and – and this is where things get fun – started writing and directing hit Singlish plays. WTF?

Manbiru T.: the “empathetic one”… i knew you were observant but it just never clicked how much. i always thought it was funny how you would be totally interactive and sociable at one moment and then suddenly become silent and withdrawn. BUT with this little smirk on your face that would evolve into a chuckle ever so often. now i realize all those times you were just absorbing scene, taking it all in… mentally taking note and dissecting it in your own way. of course when you’re not sober that goes all out the window and you unload yourself everywhere.


[But] WTF right? I would never have predicted the last 8 years upon graduating high school. While I know where I would like to be in a year from now, I generally have no clue. But I think I’m a late bloomer and it was only after I graduated from high school that I moved out of my comfort zone. The progression from the army to law school… Well i thought I was going to scotland to study at edinburgh university. It was either that or St. Andrews University but some dunce named Edward who called the queen of england his grandmother was there. But midway through my national service I applied for law school in S’pore on a lark. Somehow (after much prodding from my parents) I ended up there a few months later.


Law school started great but by the second half of my first year I just started having doubts. That’s when I decided (though it was more of an unconscious decision) to not study. So I filled up my time with other activities. 3 years ago I came to New York, met my cousin Jasdeep; renewed acquaintances with you (on your b-day no less) and decided I needed to explore my artsy side. So I acted first. When I thought I could do a better job I wrote. After I was subjected to censorship, I wrote more because I was pissed off. But then reality hit; I was not graduating and I wasn’t getting any younger (in comparison friends were getting married, earning money, paying rent and having kids). Of course if I didn’t graduate I wasn’t going to get to New York and you [ed: me] would never forgive me. Hence my belated attempt at studying.


By the by, singlish is a misnomer, my plays are english with some dialogue in singlish/hokkien.


Singlish for Beginners (video not endorsed by AMR):

NC: Okay I have a few questions that I want to ask about the above, but first: What happened with the censorship? And did anything you wrote in anger post-censorship get produced (I sort of get the impression that these would be more incendiary…)? I imagine a lot of AMR readers only have a vague idea of what Spore’s like – ZOMG I hear you’re not allowed to chew gum there! – and maybe only shadowy Orwellian speculations as to what it might be like to be a practicing artist there, so some brief context might be in order…

MT: So, brief context. We can chew gum you just can’t sell it. Gum smuggling is probably more profitable than the drug trade. There have been times I’ve had to resort to being a gum mule.


Spore isn’t totalitarian just authoritarian (whats the difference?). The government does have a variety of measures to repress the people but its rarely used. I think its the climate of fear that is more repressive, which results in self-censorship. Is the fear justified? I think no. There are of course areas/topics you have to walk a fine line like race and religion. But generally you can say anything (with certain restrictions like to whom and when). Of course all this is a “privilege” given by the govt.


So my frustration was the censorship in university. I submitted two plays for a school theatre festival. One of the plays satired religion and was refused. I thought it was an administrator who was guilty of the censorship but NO its a mate of mine in charge of the festival. But the funny thing is that an Aussie short play festival – hosted in spore annually – accepted it. And for the festival in school my other play about 1 night, 3 males, 3 females, alcohol and a banana was staged.


Another time a friend and I wrote a piece that had school administrators censor “booty”, “ass” and some Hokkien (Chinese Dialect) profanity. I don’t think you’ve lived till you’ve learnt to swear in Hokkien. But here’s the beauty of control in spore. The govt generally permits most theatre (even great satires of the govt). Why is theatre treated specially while broadcast and print mediums are closely regulated. Simply because its the bourgeois who usually watch theatre, are sophisticated enough to enjoy it yet have the most to lose by challenging the govt.


So spore is great if you like expensive alcohol, hot weather, clean sidewalks, punctual public transport and politicians who treat you like kids. Not to mention your favourite: fine asian women.


Are you the censoring kind?


Manbiru in NYC:

NC: Man, you know I’m not gonna censor you. Although, I will clarify: If you go to downtown Spore… you will invariably feel overwhelmed by the preponderance of waifer-thin asian amazons (although I got the impression that most of them are only half-asian?), like a bunch of haute-couture models with antelope eyes and sexual slacks. it’s a really attractive city/state/nation in a really weird way. Like i told you before, though, I was 19 the last time i was there… so maybe i have hormone-warped memories?

MT: You’ve repeated this story a number of times and every time I’m sure I respond the same; I don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. Waifer thin yes. Amazons no. Haute-couture models… where? Then again I’ve lived here for so long my only escape is to walk around with my eyes shut. So I think its hormone induced memories. But I’ll answer otherwise to get you to visit.

NC: Well, the botanical gardens are worth visiting anyway, if you’re already in the neighborhood. But, getting back to your plays, didn’t you get something like a 30,000 dollar budget to put one of them on? Just for contrast: I think even David Mamet just gets theater access and a handful of expired bus tokens when he decides to put on a production…

MT: Yeah. The theatre cost about 15k to rent alone. We had been losing money every year previously (its an annual production). But the year I was invited to co-write the script, it not only broke even but we were promised that the next two years the theatre costs would be written off. It isn’t a pure theatre piece but a dance production. So it had 50 dancers, 10 actors and elaborate sets. Even though about 1,000 people watched most were related or friends of the cast and crew. To be permissible for family entertainment we had to delete the Hokkien words etc etc… The production could never be equated with Wag the Dog.

NC: Wag the Dog?

MT: Didn’t David Mamet write Wag the Dog?

NC: Just did some “research” and indeed he did! I guess the only film I really associate him with is Glengarry Glen Ross (and, in all honesty, that is a cultural artifact I reference without ever having seen). According to Wikipedia and outside of WtD, I’ve only actually seen movies he’s done under a pseudonymn. Which says something both about me and Mr. Mamet, i suppose… shaking hands under the table and not looking each other in the eye! What a weird little tangent.

MT: I’m [also] offended you ignored my invitation to S’pore.

NC: I thought you were ready to break outta there, but do you want to take on the role of travel ambassador and sell me on the town that Raffles built? Didn’t NoFX play there recently?

MT: No, I won’t sell on you Spore. I just miss hanging out with you, Mr. Courage. NoFX did play here and I wanted to watch them. But tix were $80 and I felt it wasn’t worth it. My first punk rock show (excluding my forays into the Jak. scene) was watching whippersnapper in Cardiff. I spent less than 10 dollars on entry, drank some heavy british booze on the cheap and hung out with the band afterwards whereupon they offered me more booze and a tshirt. That is the epitome of a punk rock show and I have yet to replicate it. Too bad they stopped playing.

NC: Well, you know what they say: if it ain’t cheap, it ain’t punk. I think i told you about seeing the Ergs and Dillinger Four in Danbro Warehouse… i think in October. That was the last real punk show I went to, but you know – allow me to sell you on NYC for a moment: you could be reliving that Cardiff night pretty much every weekend if you wanted. the only difference is that you’d be *in* my dirt punk band. although, i’m sort of more into Sunday morning fuzz rock recently. Would you be into that? You play bass, right?

MT: How fuzzy is it? Well I have a bass that I haven’t touched in years. Does that count? Otherwise I’m thinking of picking up my violin again. Callous fingers and a stiff neck don’t seem so bad anymore.

NC: Pretty fucking fuzzy – I could probably make room for a violinist in the arrangements, but then we’d have a bunch of kids in fancy jackets showing up to our shows and taking pictures with their second gen iPhones. Unless you want to go the This Bike Is a Pipe Bomb route… i don’t know if I’ll be able to not be a jerk to them. Speaking of fuzzy, have you psychically blocked your SEAsian army memories yet? Do you feel comfortable talking about them? Follow-up question: If there was a zombie uprising, do you think you’d fare better than your civilian comrades?

MT: Educate me on “This Bike is a Pipe Bomb” route. You know as long as people pay good money to see our shows – they enjoy themselves and don’t start hurling feces as us – I’ll be ok. Though haute couture models populating the front of the stage would be nice. I haven’t blocked out my army memories. In fact a part of me misses that period. Unlike Josh I didn’t go to war so being in the army during the peacetime is like playing a two and half year game of indians and cowboys with long time outs in between. You get dress up and even run through the forest shouting bang bang (that’s how the army secretly saves money). If you ever see Buffalo Soldiers… the army is just that: a bunch of bored men/boys trying to find ways to pass the time. Though I never dealt drugs. Death by hanging ain’t a nice way to go.


When it comes to a Zombie uprising, I think it depends on what kind of zombies. I saw this trailer of a danish film (i think) and they had these zombie nazis. Now they were brutal. Most zombies I’ve seen only saunter towards you these nazis RUN. Judging from zombie movies it is usually the salt of the earth lacklustre good for nothing nobodies who become the heroes. I don’t fit in that category. But when I’m in NYC and zombies/aliens/godzilla attack the city I’ll hunker down with you and fend them all off as we have our last stand in Brooklyn while fending off anal military guys who only want to blow up NY. On that note do you know why Hollywood hates NY?


looking for Manbiru?:

NC: A few follow-ups: 1)This Bike is a Pipe Bomb is a Florida-based hobo-punk band that uses a fiddle sometimes. I think you’d really like them, actually. Check out “Three Way Tie for a Fifth” at Plan-It-X Records if you can; 2) Does the Spore army really just use finger guns?; 3) Do criminals really still get hanged there and are the hangings public (just curious)?; 4) Any good army stories? Feel free to come at these anyway you want, and I’ll come back to the zombie attack later.

“Trains and Cops” – This Bike is a Pipe Bomb:

MT: 1.) i like plan-it-x records. like they say “if it ain’t cheap it ain’t punk”, which probably excludes 90 percent of the scene right now (but thats fine with me).


2.) finger guns: no – that’s just to throw off goose stepping zombie nazis. That clip seems more shaun of the dead than i am legend, but i really cant tell…


3.) yes, we still hang anyone who drug traffics and murders. its not a public hanging. check out how the spore govt. catches would be ecstasy addicts . this is even funnier . nothing deters drugs like writing an essay. but back on topic: to qualify as a trafficker of weed you have to have at least 500 grams. and there’s no defense so the death penalty is automatic.


4.) all army stories are either ridiculously good or ridiculously tragic. and for me most of them involve a single individual i knew. he is a single child and had lived in england for most of his life. he was probably the most inept soldier i’ve ever witnessed and more frightening the army eventually let him drive tanks. but i’m getting ahead of myself. he once came to the bunk after having disappeared for awhile. within a few minutes we noticed something strange: he had taken toilet paper from his locker and had shoved it down his pants. he then removed it, took a look at it and smelt it then placed it on the ‘table’ and took more toilet paper to do the same thing. finally we asked him what he was doing; he said he had come back uncharacteristically early from taking a dump because he had forgotten to bring toilet paper. another time one of my superiors caught him wearing perfume in his green fatigues. as punishment he had to coat his entire body in facial camouflage. despite all this he signed on in the special forces and whats worse the army let him (the army is always desperate for canon fodder i say). luckily, for the good of mankind and himself, we convinced him he could serve society in other ways.

NC: So, just to clarify: you weren’t “in the shit” so much as sitting around watching some kid wipe his ass? That’s funny, but i don’t know about hilarious or tragic… are you holding back on me? I’m talking to Scott Davis right now, and he says he’s interested in hearing In The Army Now stuff, like: “this kid chronically masturbated in the bunk above me” – but that’s pretty universal, I think. I sort of want to hear something more transformative – you know, something hard and touching that we can option to Miramax (although, I guess we could also sell the funny stuff). Either way, if you want to: now’s your chance to really speak out or spill your guts…

MT: Between the secrecy laws and the statement I signed once I left the service I can’t reveal a lot or go into detail, so yeah… I am holding out on you. But in terms of transformative stories I have one that I can share:


When I was finally assigned a job in the army after all the training I went through, I really hated it. I was required to do work that contradicted some of my morals. Caveat: I am not religious but I cling to a few basic principles. So everyday working was an exercise in rationalism. Mind you what I was doing wasn’t repulsively bad, I wasn’t killing anyone. But in my books it was bad nonetheless. The straw that broke the camels back was when my superiors who were all career soldiers (as opposed to conscripts like me) barged into my team’s office one day threatening me and my colleagues. They outnumbered us, came armed, and were ready to cuff us. The dispute was really quite ridiculous but the circumstances were frightening. Eventually the situation was diffused but i came to three conclusions : (1.) the army breeds thugs, (2.) i never want to work in the army or for thugs in general and (3.) i’m never going to compromise my principles ever again.


I was relatively lucky as a trainee in that my superiors generally looked after me. One night when we had a celebration at tiger breweries (tiger beer is the local brew) and i threw up all over the bus on the way back to camp. once we reached camp all i remember was my company commander going “manbiru, manbiru it must be you. you fucker.” he got the mess cleaned up and i was never punished. On the other hand I’ve seen some sadistic SOBs, as old as me or slightly older, treat people with such cruelty. The dehumanizing aspect of the army was disgusting. so make love, not war.

NC: I actually have massive student loans because i was worried about being drafted into the Iraq war (true story, weird timing: there was a lot of fear mongering going on in 2004). It was nice to at least have the option to go massively in debt and read transgressive theory instead of having to belly up to some no-joke-jonny on a idiot power trip, though. Is it weird to live somewhere where everyone’s had to go through that BS?


Along those lines: In the US there’s this perceived distinction between “real men” (read: macho dudes who’ve been through it – or pretend to have been through it – and keep guns and talk about Man Things with a glint in their eyes) and academic, super-liberal and sardonic fire starters like me. In reality, this sort of bifurcation is classist (poor – macho, rich – milquetoast), it’s political (republican – macho, democrats – milquetoast), and it’s totally reductive and off-base. But, you know, it’ stupid and it sticks. In Spore, even the smallest lady in the strappiest dress could step up to anyone in terms of being bad ass, yea? So does that negate the entire notion of the macho badass? Or: Do you think forced army works as a social/political equalizer to any degree, or is it really just a thuggish microcosm of what goes on (socially) everywhere else?

MT: Women don’t serve in the army as conscripts as national service is only for males. Another strange aspect is that for every story I can tell you about sadist kids in the army there are opposite stories of kids who are toughest of the tough and should be extremely macho about it become humble. Most of my friends who have literally had the worst experiences because they were in some of the tougher units are really humble and rarely talk about their experiences. When we share stories we don’t try to out do each other instead the common theme is how we all hated it. Of course there are egotistical jerks but those are the minority. In Spore, there’s no “real men” vs intellectual bifurcation. That’s mainly because intellectualism is a treated as a value in society. And we live in a paternalistic society where only the most qualified and therefore intellectual are “allowed” to serve in government (likewise those of us who are below them literally in society aren’t allowed to question their wisdom too much). Its part of this whole Confucian ideal. People in general don’t care about how macho you were in the army so women in Spore don’t find it an attractive quality. Then when I visit NYC you [ed: me] help talk up my army experience to all the women.


And the army definitely works as social equalizer up to a certain point. Everyone has to go through basic training together so you have kids from all kinds of backgrounds shed their identities and have to live together as a community. We dressed the same, eat together, sleep together and suffer together. The result is that we forge a camaraderie that ignores our class and race distinctions. But after basic training when we get placed in our various jobs throughout the organization, the class and race distinctions become apparent again. Malays are not allowed in certain units because it is thought that their loyalty might be compromised in a time of war with our most likely enemies (our neighbors). Then the kids who become leaders (the officers and non-commissioned officers) tend to come from the elite schools and well to do families. What’s funny is that I lived in Indonesia for several years and my biological father is Malaysian (and I have many relatives who are Malaysian) yet I was trained/inculcated from the very beginning that those are the two countries I would most likely be fighting if war would ever breaks out.


Another distinction that becomes less observable when we start doing reservist training, after our 2 and half year commitment to the army, is age. So after we finish our national service and begin living the rest of our life we have to usually report back for training about 1 to 4 weeks at least every year for 10 or 15 years. The first time I reported back I found myself working in a unit where I outranked men who were twice my age and had families already. It was funny. But the whole age gap and ranking system becomes blurred. While I definitely had the ability to “order” them around, I would never do it because its a dickish thing to do. So we end up working together with the common aim of finishing up our training/job in an effort to leave camp as soon as possible. They had families to go to and I definitely had better things to do.


To a certain degree I think women should also be conscripted. Its obvious when you talk to Spore females that they lack the benefit of being forced to work together with people of different class/race backgrounds. National service might even be more fun then for us men.

NC: Speaking of arming the fairer sex, Rachel and me have been thinking about going to this gun range in midtown and learning how to shoot. I personally harbor a deep hatred for guns and an unrelenting distrust for gun owners, especially urban marksmen. But we’ve been watching a lot of apocalypse movies, and I feel like I want to be able to break into a pawn shop, load up a rifle, and take out some zombies if the time comes… Thoughts?

Manbiru and Friends (or, “The Drunkest He’s Ever Been”):

MT: I think it would probably be safer for the fairer sex to handle all guns… notwithstanding Ann Coulter. I was really hesitant about shooting a gun. In the end I enjoyed it. Though with live ammunition I want to shoot at nothing more than paper targets or large watermelons. When introducing the M16 to us our instructors decided to show us a demonstration of its ability. They shot at a watermelon from 300 m. When we took a look at the damage, we learnt that the bullet upon hitting the target zig zags its way through the target to cause the most damage (not like in cartoons or movies where a bullet goes in and travels linearly out the body). So half the watermelon was sawed off and our instructor exclaimed, “That’s what you’ll get with a head shot! Any questions?”.


But hell yeah, go shoot a gun and enjoy it. Then after the euphoria of shooting, realize why we shouldn’t be allowed guns unless you’re a cop (even then I’m hesitant). And you’re not protecting yourself if you keep an assault rifle you’re a barking loony.


One of the saddest stories in the army was the case of this kid who after training fell asleep holding his General Purpose Machine Gun (GPMG, google it to realize how big it is). While sleeping he squeezed off the trigger firing a round (i’ve done that before though I only had blanks in my rifle). His buddy who was resting in front of him was virtually sliced in half.

NC: …

[a few minutes pass]

NC: I thought about it, can’t really even begin to deal with it… so I’m just going to move on. This is my best guess as to how the armed forces cope, too. It’s really sad to me, though – in an obviously different way – that even 12 time zones away, on literally the opposite end of the world, you’re familiar enough with our batshit crazy village idiot to casually drop her name. And I’m wondering: Is that a pitfall of globalization or a triumph?


I don’t really know. In fact, outside of the ripple effect of broadcast news, I’m not really sure that I even believe in (Utopic) globalization anymore. The world still seems mostly tribal – maybe increasingly so, because of locavores and carbon counters – except for groups of interested people who connect online, and they’re tribal too (just not in the geophysical sense). On top of which is the argument that we’re all shallower thinkers now – the cognitive impact of globalizing web technologies.


I guess what I’m trying to say is that the only reason Anne Coulter has any traction in the first place is because she went viral. If that wasn’t bad enough, popular culture seems to be getting increasingly bland because it needs to appeal to larger audiences – and in the worst cases, kowtow to the lowest common denominators. I’m discounting economic exchange and free-trade, because I think this question is more culturally/informationally based… but geopolitically, it seems that the greatest advantage of globalization is something like a neighborhood watch. And unless we want to think of the “War on Terror” as a successful step towards a more harmonious global community, I think that may have to be questioned too.


Admittedly, I am not a political scientist (nor otherwise informed, really)… but part of me thinks that humanity might be a lot less rich for all our mass informational exchanges, and we should all just move to Portland or Gainesville, turn off our fucking computers, work at the sustainable coffee shop and start a locally appreciated rock and roll band. In other words, step back just a few feet from the singularity. Another part of me thinks that the bigger the normalizing force in society, the better the counter culture, the richer the national psyche. This is the upside though, of globalization: let’s start a dialogue. Are you ready to rock and roll, or am I just being completely reductive?

MT: I have the totally opposite view. On Anne Coulter: don’t worry she’s a nobody beyond the American continent. The only reason i know of her is because i’m in tune with American politics. I’m a bit of a politics nerd… after growing up in such a sterile political environment I look beyond Singapore. And the most captivating is America, which is strange because I guess a lot of American kids in my generation gave up on politics a long time ago. Well for me the grass is greener on the other side even if many other kids think its shit. Before I went to JIS [ed: Jakarta International School] I never understood the meaning of freedom or rights. They start indoctrinating you from youth in Spore. To imagine how upside down my thinking was, I thought Suharto (totalitarian ex-President of Indo) was good guy.


I [also] dont think pop culture is becoming homogenized. In Spore at least we used to have very few influences because the major medium of influence was television and that was dominated by the US. Now we have influences from India, Japan, South Korea, China and the US. Get this: before there was the internet I would have to purchase music from cd shops. When I was first interested in punk music I didn’t know what to look for. I would usually copy other people’s music taste but I had no clue. I was at an age where I was afraid to ask because I didn’t want to appear ignorant and therefore not “cool” (as it was I was this scrawny kid from Spore who dressed weird and spoke with a strange accent). Before, the internet cd shops in Spore carried such a small selection of punk . I would spend hours just trying to find any punk music (you could always tell which cds belonged to punk bands they always had the strangest names and covers). Then came the internet and kids don’t rely on MTV or the radio for music anymore.


If anything America is the cultural epicentre of the world still, which is great because the quality and diversity is still exceptional. But the problem with America as well is that it doesn’t look beyond its borders. There are amazing artists of all flavours beyond the shores of America but unfortunately it takes time for the American public to appreciate that.


The point I was trying to make is that I think the way the world is becoming smaller it allows niches of culture and community to survive and thrive, like A Mutual Respect. So yeah i’m ready to rock and roll.


technology’s amazing, nobody’s happy:

NC: I definitely see where I’m spoiled to think, “why be globalizin’ when I can live in Brooklyn with all these bands and play my own house shows.” I’ve been blessed to always live in some sort of cultural hub, earlier because of chance; now because why wouldn’t I? (That’s a good question to ask yourself now, too, Manbiru). I also get that I’m a little jaded when it comes to rock and roll – that’s what living in NYC does to you. That’s also why I mostly listen to jazz now – what Ellis Marsalis calls “music for adults”.


At the same time, I definitely see A Mutual Respect as a tribal micro-society, attracting people who pretty much share common ideals (or at least are interested in what I have to say). I’m not sure that the universal harmony of globalization fits in to our rubric over here; the world feels just as big, and this is the camp we’ve created in its wilds…


Along the same lines, the internet is allowing you to find more music you’re interested in, increasing the scope of your tribe (or maybe we can start replacing tribe with “interpretive community” at this point). But I don’t think that you’re necessarily going to start branching out into different musical traditions any more than you would if you were in a perfectly stocked brick and mortar music store. Maybe you’ll look past Spore’s horizon and pick up a CD by Dagnasty [Australian punk band], but I wouldn’t expect you to start getting into Salsa.


Of course, the key is to have a perfectly stocked brick and mortar record store in a non-totalitarian society, which I’m not discounting. But the core of my question before was really: is the world really getting smaller and more unified? Or are tribes/interpretive communities getting bigger? Or are these basically the same? (This is a genuine question, by the way). As far as American’s appreciating other musical traditions (maybe another question for another time), all I can do is assure you that it happens, but usually outside of the pop. music sphere.

MT: Musically I’m always surprised and excited to stumble into something totally exotic or out there. Admittedly a lot of stuff won’t make it on my playlist but I enjoy sampling the diversity. Same with movies, each culture has done their own take on the medium. The unfortunate aspect about Spore is that initially we tried the copycat approach but now kids in Spore are either sampling stuff from a variety of places and making something totally original or coming up with something nouveau.


in some ways i think the world is becoming more unified and smaller. look at travel and communication. in that aspect there is certainly a lot homogeneity happening, which is frightening. BUT i dont think its so dire. there are pockets of resistance and that’s what you call the tribes or the interpretive communities who struggle against identities foisted on society by corporate marketing and instead refreshingly create their own sub-cultures. tv probably contributed more than anything to homogeneity, everyone watched the same popular channels but as people tune out pick up books and find other mediums it looks a lot more hopeful. i feel like im a blathering interviewee.


disclosure: if im not coherent its because i always seem to reply at 3am in the morning.

NC: That’s alright baby, I’m sort of blathering myself, so let’s wrap this up. I’m sorry to bring this up after the whole “make love, not war” bit, but…. i keep coming back to zombies, so i might as well just do this thing. As far as zombies are concerned: Zombies in the 50s through 80s were slow, zombies in the noughts are fast as fuck. Sometimes slow zombies from previous eras have become faster in more recent filmic adaptations (e.g. I am Legend), and in these cases you just have to assume that the more current zombies are the one’s you’re up against. Speed of zombies in recent monster movie spoofs (see: Shaun of the Dead) don’t count because they’re consciously harkening back to simpler times. Tangentially, you asked why Hollywood hates NYC. Let me answer your question with another question: isn’t it a truism that people hurt the ones they love most of all?


With this in mind: You’re on a trip to NYC. One minute we’re eating pad thai, the next: chaos, nuclear fallout, super-fast zombies. We pass a downed US army contingent, most of whom’ve been variously eviscerated. There are some guns, backpacks full of the usual rations/supplies, and a walkie-talkie with a direct line to the pentagon. We learn that there’s a helicopter pickup scheduled in T-78 hours at the Cloisters (a fortified Medieval museum – with both a spice garden and antique swords/armor – in the 190s). Long Island is quarantined, but you, me, and our rag tag group of neo-pioneers are largely uninfected. We’re in Soho and a little drunk. Needless to say, you’re the only one who’s “seen some shit” (aka, the SA army). What do we do?

The Route:



MT: Well as you know, when in NYC im never “a little” drunk. BUT that doesn’t mean im useless. i’ll just probably be a really bad aim. i feel that we should take a straw poll and decide: (a.) to hit up another bar and barricade ourselves in there like shaun of the dead or (b.) work our way to Cloisters. my vote would be (a.), not that I’m pessimistic but with that much fun to be had when the worlds about to end why spend it fighting zombies. so after not much of an argument we’ll stumble into an awesome bar that just so happens to have some bir bintang and working instruments.


i’ll pick up the violin (and what do you know its perfectly tuned since i have no clue of tuning) and you will take turns on the drums/guitar. and we’ll broadcast out on the local wifi. in between we’ll have a few poetry recitals. and one of your poems/songs will be a rallying cry for the resistance. soon all the leftover kids from manhattan will join us and we’ll slowly take back whats rightfully ours. very soon we’ll realize that the only zombies are those in suits with briefcases so any worries for another life will disappear as we explode their heads with raucus punk music.


soon every street except wall street will be taken back because well, who wants it anyway (with zombies manning the brokerage counters no one would ever tell the difference). of course somewhere in between a beautiful woman will rescue me and teach me how to dance. i just hope we don’t run out of alcohol before we win/die.


NC: Hey Manbiru, thanks so much for taking the time to talk with me about all this ridiculousness. You know I love you, buddy, and I’m excited for your impending NYC residency. Do us both a favor and pick up a bass, ok? Violin’s okay, but maybe not for every song. To everyone else, I’ve changed Manbiru’s identity slightly for the sake of anonymity… if you want to contact him, feel free to e-mail me and I’ll put you in touch!


Next Week: Amy Rose Perkins!

• Friend of a Friend: S.C.O.T.T. L.E.R.C.H.
• Friend of a Friend: Mark Fullmer
• friend of a friend: Edwin T Merrick V, “The Gov”